i fucking hate everything.

he made my friend leave me.

TWO OF THEM.

he just lovesss ruining my life huh?

i didnt do anything to them, so why does he have to bring them into this? my life is already shit and im just trying to get better but i cant even do that. ive been writing a lot in a new notebook, about 5 pages or more about everything. i only tried to help him. yet im just getting punished for trying to do something good. i hurt myself. all of my vent art, the things of cutting. its all true. i have too many fucking problems at such a fucking young age.

i tried to forget about him.

by burning his letter and ripping up photos.

i hesitated on one. it hurt so much. it still does. but i still did it.

im so fucking tired of everything.

i shouldve known better.

why. why. i dont even know why im doing this.

i do know one thing.

i feel used. i never tell anyone my emotions.

im scared that they'll just get rid of me. that they'll just toss me aside.

and by what my life has done to me

yeah. thats what'll happen.

and im SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT.

i hate everything.

i hate myself.

i dont blame people for leaving me to be honest.

why should they have amnesty for someone like me?

i'll pick a date.

i'll pick a place.

far enough from here so nobody can find my body when i finally kill myself.

it'll be relieving.

for everyone.

for him.